


The ceremony

by Melime



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Humor, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Out of Character, Parody, one of my first fics, surprisingly saved from being lost to time (and originally posted under a different username)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-09-23
Updated: 2007-09-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:26:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24753145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melime/pseuds/Melime
Summary: Sequel of the wedding. What happened at the ceremony?
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin





	The ceremony

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [A cerimônia](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24753136) by [Melime GreenLeaf (Melime)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melime/pseuds/Melime%20GreenLeaf). 



> Note (2020): I present to you one of my earliest fics, brought here 13 years after it was originally posted under the username Princess Moony. It was originally written in Portuguese, when I was in middle school, so the translation, albeit done in 2020, was made in a way that could reflect my lack of linguistic skills at the time (and if something sounds weird, it’s probably because it sounds weird in Portuguese as well). As embarrassing as this window into my barely teenager self is, I wanted to preserve it here as a way to mark how much I evolved (and hopefully will continue to evolve). This is a sequel to the wedding. Fun fact: wanting to read more wolfstar than was available in Portuguese significantly improved my English skills.

"Look what they are wearing!"

"They met at Hogwarts and want to get married in Hogwarts robes. What is the problem?"

"He still has the leather jacket!"

"Stop picking on him!"

"And Dumbledore is late!"

A phoenix tosses Dumbledore in the altar and dies.

"Welcome wizards, witches, muggles and writer that... (P.M. makes a cut sign whispering: I'm not here!) Well, as I was saying, welcome to another year in Hogwarts!"

"Professor Dumbledore? This is a wedding."

"Oh, of course, Remus. Wedding? Wedding... is that one with a dead and people crying?"

"No, that's a funeral."

"Of course, dead in funerals, of course. Wedding... is that one with a baby and water?"

"That is baptism!"

"Is that one with teenagers, wine and pieces of bread?"

"That is 1st communion!"

"The one with a honeymoon after?"

"That!"

"You and Sirius? You're gay (O.O)?

"Since Hogwarts! What happened to the old guy?"

"Sirius! Be respectful!"

"Wait!"

"Professor McGonagall, what are you doing?"

Minerva tosses a penceive in Dumbledore.

"The healers already warned it was dangerous to use the penceive so much, but does he listen?"

"Sorry, let's continue." look to a paper. "I'm not gonna read that."

"You said I could write the vows, so, there it is."

"Ok. 'The hottie Pad accepts to marry the wolfie for all the chitchats of weddings and keep on going even in the full moon and vice versa?' I think this is sacrilege!"

"I, Pad, accept!"

"(red) I, Remus, (puppy look from Sirius), ok, ok... I, Moony, accept!"

"So can..." Fowkes is reborn and all the women, Remus, baby Malfoy (what is he doing here?) and Hagrid yelling: So cute!

"As I was saying, can..." Peter burps loudly.

"As I was saying, can..." baby Potter cries because of a smelly accident in the diper.

"As I was saying, can..." looks to the sides. "Can..." LittleTronks goes to the altar.

"Remus, marry me!" she pulls him by the tie and gives him a tiny child peck.

"Get out brat, wolfie is mine." Uses the wand to toss her away.

"Sirius, she is just a child!"

"Can we continue?"

"Kiss now!"

Cinema kiss

A minute later

Kiss continues

Another minute

Kiss continues

Another kiss, they separate if air and purple lips. Sirius kisses Remus again and pressed him against the altar. Dolores (everyone is invading this wedding?) uses the same spell she uses in the fifth movie to separate that couple.

"Let's stop with the lack of shame?"

"(red, very red) So, let's start the party!"

-/-

In the main table there were Sirius, Dumbledore, Minerva, Remus' parents, James, Lily, baby Potter, Peter, Arthur, pregnant Molly, Charlie, Bill, Percy, Dred, George and baby Weasley.

"Sirius!"

"(innocent face) Yes, love? (blinking eyes)"

"Is it not missing a place for anyone?"

"Like who? (blinking eyes)"

"Me, for example."

"But there is a place for you." Sirius pulls Remus by the waist and makes him sit on his lap.

"And I'm going to stay here the whole party? (red)"

"I thought you liked it." leaving Remus redder.

"Where are you going?"

"Just travelling around, I dunno, a cruise, maybe..."

"YOU DON'T KNOW?!"

"I see things more in general."

"I can't believe that..." Sirius whispers something almost inaudible in response and presses him more against the hip. And Remus whispers in the same tone. "Serius, don't say that in front of my parents."

"What long did you take off?"

"Until next full moon."

"Almost a moon? It's so little!"

"We are in days of war."

The door opens itself and mrs. Black shows up.

"Mom! What are you doing here? Came ruin everything as always?"

"This is more than I expected from you, you traitor of your own blood. Deny your origins? Alright. Betray us? Alright. Ally yourself to Order of Phoenix? Alright. But marry a dirty half-blood that is on top of that a man? Die with dignity and save the honor of the Black."

"I said that she loves me."

"Sirius Black! As your mom I order you to die now!"

"Get lost, ok?"

"He was always disobedient, shame of the family..."

"Regulos (O.O)? What doing here?"

"Came to kill you, traitor!"

"Enough!"

"Amélia (it's me)! I thought you weren't officially here."

"They are destroying the wedding!"

"That is not of your business."

"Go away!"

"You are not capable of expelling us!"

"I'm not?" Amélia gets a laptop and writes: Regulos and Mrs. Black disappear.

"Thank you!"

"Bye!" Amélia disappears.

"Continuing... Shouldn't this be a dinner? Where is the food."

"I dunno! The domestic elves must be preparing it."

A little girl leaves the kitchen, followed by a couple of muggles.

"Freedom to slaved creatures!"

"Who's this?"

"Mione!"

"Excuse us, but we got lost."

"Exit is that way!"

"Thank you!" Mr. And Mrs. Granger leave dragging baby Granger.

"Everyone cam ruin our wedding, what the f..." (Remus looks at him with a deadly look and face of 'look the exemple you're giving to these children') "unwanted participations!"

"Yeah... But I think this is the end of the party!"

"Yeah! (dirty look) Now starts the honeymoon!"

"Sirius!"

The End


End file.
